Selected Memories

"You Can't Go Home Again" is a novel by Thomas Wolfe, but the title is probably more famous than the book itself.  I only quote it because it pertains to a recent trip I made back to Sin City and the scene of 'crimes' as such'; although I'd argue that the only crimes committed were those I committed against myself.

Back in November 2011 when I first started this journal, I had lost nearly all of my possessions, including my camera. That deprived me of the chance to illustrate some of my postings with pictures of some of the neighborhoods and various locations I frequented during my period of homelessness (hm, maybe a better title for this post might have been "You Can't Go Homeless Again").  Unfortunately, I couldn't take pictures inside the Salvation Army headquarters where I spent a lot of time during my rehabilitation, as such.

However, in the picture below you can see the exterior of that building located on Owens Avenue in North Las Vegas. That large building behind the trees houses almost all the SA's operations:  The first floor contains administrative, kitchens, learning centers, recreational and mess areas.  The second and third floors comprise the dorm areas for men and women.  The basement contains laundry and maintenance services.  I spent time in almost every service area on every floor.

While you can see one or two homeless figures in the foreground, there are dozens more located just up the sidewalk.  That's where they hang out waiting for the free daily meals.  I did actually try to snap a few pics of them, but essentially got chased off by a few guys who took exception to my 'invasing their privacy" as they put it.  There were several other stragglers milling about directly across the street from here.  During the late afternoons and evenings that entire sidewalk is often crowded with the homeless and their various accouterments:  Suitcases, bags, trunks, cardboard boxes flattened for sleeping on the sidewalk, and the occasional dog or cat.

Jerry's Nugget Casino, a 50-year fixture of North Las Vegas, is pictured above.  It often served as a place of respite from the SA campus although I'd still see plenty of familiar faces here.  Many guys from SA had hardcore gambling addictions and would come here to play the slots, 21, or place various sports bets.  They would rarely drink here, however; SA always performs Breathalyzer tests upon returning to their property.  If a client tested positive they were temporarily evicted from the dorms and made to spend 24 hours on the streets ... Reason enough for abstinence, imo.

The homeless roam up and down these streets (N. Las Vegas Blvd. is pictured here) 24/7.  It's likely one reason the security personnel in the casino cast a wary eye on anyone who enters the building. Many -- like myself -- visited the place mainly to use their restroom facilities.  Given that many of the indigent tend to use such facilities to bathe or wash their filthy laundry ... well, you get the idea. Needless to say, the whole area is rife with all forms of vice, the most common being drug dealing and prostitution.

The Palomino Club (pictured above) is across the street from Jerry's Nugget and has been world famous since '69 ... what a coincidence.  Another of the area's landmarks.  I was never out late enough to see any of the dancers arrive.  I did see a number of homeless guys camping out in front during the day, though.  Maybe they thought they'd get lucky.

Another view of Owens Ave, facing west.  The SA building is farther up on the left.  A church is just to the right.  Charitable groups often set up stations for free food, water, clothing, etc. adjacent to that building.

It was interesting to return to this area after approximately a year and a half at the Grand Canyon.  This urban area seemed more bleak and barren than I recalled; perhaps it only seemed to because I've grown so accustomed to the open spaces and magnificent vistas of the GC.  But there's a barrenness of spirit here as well, as though this part of Las Vegas has absorbed the desperation and hopelessness of its indigent inhabitants, and reflected it back.  I don't know how it happened but you could call this area a kind of Mecca for the dispossessed; somehow, they all make the pilgrimage here ... and often stay.

That might be thing that affected me most during my brief return visit:  That I saw so many familiar faces still there, going through the same motions and repeating the same behaviors as they had when I last saw them some 18 months ago.  Funny ... I felt something like a conquering hero when I first returned there.  After all, I had departed Vegas on a Greyhound bus with a few hundred dollars to my name.  I returned in my own car, still gainfully employed and doing pretty well (and had a few more hundred dollars to my name, lol).

But that sense of triumph dissolved into a kind of despondence after walking along once familiar sidewalks and streets.  I'm out of harmony with that area, its inhabitants and it attendant lifestyle now -- which is a good thing.  But to see so many people essentially exactly where I had left them after my time away, well, let's say I cut short my visit earlier than I had intended.  Sadly, from what I saw during my sojourn in Sin City, the homeless situation is likely worse, not better.

And Your Humble Narrator?  Much like The Dude, Your Humble Narrator abides.  More pics, reflections and an off-putting encounter coming up ...

X-Men Days Of Future Past Trailer: Marvel's Mutant Melange

The trailer for X-Men Days of Future Past dropped recently, and it's shaping up to be a merry Marvel mutant epic.  See it here for yourself! (Check to Wolverine poster ... Logan ages into Clint Eastwood!)

Marvel's Captain America The Winter Soldier Trailer Hints At A Cold Warrior

The trailer for Marvel's Captain America: The Winter Soldier dropped recently, and it appears to take a darker look at Cap's involvement with SHIELD.  As Cap clashes with Nick Fury we can detect hints of a conspiracy brewing within the super spy organization.  So who better to portray the big kahuna of SHIELD (and apparently Fury's superior) than Robert Redford, who starred in Three Days of the Condor, one of the all time great conspiracy thrillers. (Click here for an interview with Redford that might reveal a SPOILER)

Redford's casting brings some gravitas to the screen and manages to ground Cap in a more politically charged espionage role; one in which he may have to choose between the Company's agenda and following his own instincts.  If nothing else, the addition of Redford infuses this Captain America sequel with enough star power to rival that of Marvel's The Avengers.  Along with Chris Evans as Steve Rogers/Cap, Samuel L. Jackson (Nick Fury) and Scarlett Johansson (Black Widow) reprise their Avengers roles, while Anthony Mackie (The Hurt Locker) makes his debut as The Falcon.

Other things to look for in the trailer:  A new variation on Cap's costume, a hellacious display of hand-to-hand combat inside an elevator, a SHIELD Heli-carrier taking a massive swan dive, and the return of Bucky Barnes.

Marvel's Captain America The Winter Soldier opens April 4, 2014.

Grand Canyon Definitely Reopens (for a Week -- Maybe) During Government Shutdown

So the good news is, the park has reopened during the government shutdown.  The bad news is, the park may only stay open for a week.  Read the link here which explains how the GC and some other national parks and landmarks have found a way to reopen in the midst of this political deadlock.  Most of the deals involve the individual states coughing up the cash to the feds in order to make this happen.  Kind of makes you wonder if the individual states shouldn't run their own parks systems.

But enough of that fluff.  What you really want to know is:  How do these events affect Your Humble Narrator?  Well, as of this writing, I've received no word as to my (re) employment status.  Understand, too that my base of operations (El Tovar) won't reopen until this evening.  I usually operate the banquets for the tour buses (most often from Caravan Tours) that roll through the park; as of yet there's no word on when they might be arriving).

It's a long road ... is there an end in sight?

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In the meantime, I guess YHN will content himself with video games and, ah ... various forms of adult entertainment.

Top Ten List of Government Shutdown Gripes at the Grand Canyon

Your Humble Narrator sez:  Follow this link!

Holding Up During A Government Shutdown

So you've no doubt heard all about the federal government shutdown. Yes, there are far-ranging effects and impacts that will ripple out from the deadlock in DC.  Naturally, the most important question you're asking yourself is How, exactly, does all this affect Your Humble Narrator?  Well, read on and I'll try to give you some insights into life in a national park during a government shutdown.

Realize this is my first experience of being directly affected by the gears of government grinding to a halt (and being caught in the gear teeth).  In the past I had always joked, "Hell, even if there is a government shutdown ... how can you tell the difference?"  Realize, too, that the Grand Canyon is more than a mere national park ... It's considered on of the Seven Natural Wonders of the World.  As such, the GC receives on average approximately 5 million visitors annually.  As you'd expect all those visitors generate a lot of noise and traffic; indeed, the clots of tourists jamming the narrow sidewalks and crowding the cafeterias, restaurants and buses can become downright frustrating.

So the second thing you notice upon park closure is the sudden quiet that falls over the area.  Once guests were barred from entering, the GC and its small community (GC Village) quickly resembles a ghost town.  The sidewalks are bare.  The shuttle buses have stopped running, leaving only sparse local traffic on the roads.  The majority of restaurants, gift shops and other businesses have been shuttered.  And because of the sudden quiet, the deer, elk and other creatures native are less shy about moving about the park.  Kind of ironic in that all these animals are on display and there's no visitors here to see them!

Sign(s) of the times

By the way, the first thing you notice is the sense of disbelief among the employees that the GC was actually closed for business.  I doubt anyone here seriously expected the government shutdown to occur. (As one co-worker eloquently stated:  "There's no way they'll shut this f**kin' park!"  Well, live and learn.) So it's taken a few days for the realization to settle in.  And that begs the question. How are we settling in?

The first day of closure (Wednesday October 2) actually occurred on a payday.  So for the first night there was a lot of partying.  Regular readers of this blog -- both of them -- might recall the circumstance in which most of us workers live:  In dorms, usually two in a room with communal bath and showers.  While the housing provided by our employer Xanterra are certainly cost efficient, it also presents its share of challenges ... you might say you get what you pay for.

A quick recap on the subject:  I've never been a fan of roommates to begin with.  Many of your dorm mates tend to be, unkind as it may sound, challenged either physically or mentally.  There is a lot of alcoholism and drug abuse in the dorms.  Many of the workers are culled from the streets (as in homeless) and often bring their unhygienic habits and oddball behaviors with them.  Because of this, bedbugs are rampant in the dorms, along with a lot of shouting and yelling (usually an outgrowth of these guys talking to themselves)  Many of these people have difficulty with the English language, either because of speech impediments or too many missing teeth.

This portion of the South Rim Trail is usually packed with visitors

So back to that first day.  A lot of these guys blew their paychecks on booze and other illegal substances, which kept them partying until the wee hours.  I that heard a few fights broke out and National Park Service rangers had to be called (a common occurrence -- at least the rangers are still on the clock)  The following nights have gotten quieter; I expect many of the partyers are running low on cash as so many of them seem to live paycheck to paycheck ... and there are no cash loan companies up here.

On Thursday (October 3), Xanterra took a neighborly step in announcing free meals for its employees (breakfast, lunch, dinner) and suspending dorm rent for three weeks.  The meals are served in one central location (Maswik Cafeteria) as other facilities have been closed.  It's over a mile away from where my dorm is located but the weather is brisk and clear these days and I don't mind walking.  Besides, it's free food, right?  I've tried to take as much advantage as possible of the offer.  (Interestingly, I've heard complaints from co-workers about the limited menu and lack of 'acceptable substitutes' available.  I reiterate:  it's free food.  Besides, they set up free wi-fi and resumed limited shuttle service for employees.

The cafeteria was packed the first couple days but attendance seems to be falling; maybe the novelty is fading or people are getting tired of the food.  Or it could be that people are just getting antsy at having to adjust to a strange reality:  Trapped in a limbo of being out of work while still being employed.  Along that line, there was a recent meeting about how to file for Arizona unemployment benefits if the shutdown keeps dragging on.

Your Humble Narrator seems to be a bit lonely these days

If you remember the 1978 film "Days of Heaven", one of the characters remarked that she's "been thinking what to do wit' (her) future".  I think that quote applies to many of us here in the GC.  Particularly as this federal impasse persists, I'm examining my options.  While many here pass the time arguing about who's to blame (Republicans, Democrats, etc.) it's all a moot point in my opinion.  The fact is, Your Humble Narrator is losing money every day and, frankly, misses the routine of going to work.  If nothing else he has discovered how important a regular routine is.

What happens in a closed community like this is that you tend to see the same faces over and over.  That happens even when things are operating normally.  Now, with the majority of hourly workers left with nothing to do and nowhere to go, those faces are in your face constantly.  You see them in the cafeteria, in the dorm, in the rec center, and so on.  Apply this to dealing with those *ahem* eccentric dorm-mates I earlier mention and you can connect the dots:  Familiarity breeds the utmost contempt.

Hopefully there's some brighter days ahead!

The free food/free rent deal is good for three weeks.  I asked one of my managers what happens if the government shutdown goes on longer than three weeks.  "Then they start laying off managers" was the reply, and that's bad news for hourly employees.  Only essential services and workers would remain, and that would likely be comprised of skeleton crews.  Hopefully, there'll be some progress in reopening the national parks and we can all get back to work.

For now, there's a lot of people holding their breath because they've got families to feed and bills to pay. About the only thing that's certain right now is that despite how events turn out, the Grand Canyon will still be here.  At least you can count on that.

Unless the government shuts it down ...

Canyoneering XI: Names Have Been Changed

I've remarked upon this before but it bears mentioning again:  Time seems to pass at a slower ace here in the Grand Canyon.  Likely it's due to the relative remoteness of this location, or the fact that I don't have a TV to keep me abreast of daily happenings.  But when you live here it's not uncommon to completely lose track of which day it is.  Living in larger cities certain days had their distinct 'feel'; Monday felt like you had a Vise-Grip clamped around your head, while Friday and Saturday felt like the Grip had been released.  In the GC one day feels pretty much like every other day:  Bland and immobile in its passage.  Difficult to say what accounts for this chronological phenomenon ... Maybe it has to do with the very timelessness of the Canyon itself.

Looking back over this course of this blog it's evident how m. intermittent my entries have become.  There are a few reasons for this, actually.  Admittedly, I'm not as desperate now as I was in 2011 when I started to chronicle my struggles with homelessness and my attempts to regain a 'normal' life.  If you believe that desperation breeds creativity then you likely buy the idea that comfort breeds complacency.  I expect you can make the argument for or against that idea.  Probably more the case that I've gotten settled into a routine and have been either too preoccupied or too lazy to make regular updates to this blog.

Another reason is less airy and perhaps complimentary after a fashion.  It seems that several of my fellow employees here in the GC have actually been reading this damn thing.  Yes, it seems that Your Humble Narrator has garnered a few new recruits to this blog.  I usually post updates via Facebook more out of habit than the expectation that anyone will actually follow the link.  To my surprise, a few co-workers (including a manager where I work) remarked to me that they had read this blog; one had seen the link on FB after all, and told a few other people -- never discount the power of word of mouth, I guess.

I felt a flush of pride when told they enjoyed reading the entries here.  A few asked me confidentially if all these events had really occurred (they did) and how I managed to turn things around (still a work in progress to be honest).  I'll admit I briefly had visions of myself reading accounts of this blog to a rapt audience in some theater (off-Broadway in NYC if you really want to know).  But a manager said something that broke my literary fantasy:  "Hey, you're not gonna write any shit about ME in that fuckin' blog of yours, right?"

While he said it in an amiable manner, the remark did raise a few flags:  If co-workers are actually reading this thing, then I'll have to be much more selective about the events I choose to relate here.  That means carefully editing locations, people, events, occurrences (and attendant dates/times), etc. so as to ensure as much anonymity as possible. While I might be overreacting, I'm very much aware of how people have sealed their fates by relating too much information(personal, professional, etc) online.  Indeed, I know of a few folks here  who were fired after managers saw postings on Facebook (and other online forums) concerning how much weed they smoked before going to work in the park.  (One genius even posted pics of his custom-made bong collection. I'm tempted to say that worker's career went up in smoke ... but I won't.)

I'd like to believe I'm a bit more circumspect that that.  Still, I  prefer to err on the side of caution, which is why my productivity has waned over the past few months.  Rest assured, I'm still recording my day to day activities and dutifully logging daily events.  But most of that is being transcribed offline.  Hopefully I can manage to relate more stories by creatively editing names, events and circumstances to the point of overall anonymity.  It might make for storytelling that seems a bit generic by contrast but at least the stories can be related to my readers.

And for any co-workers who might be reading this, allow me to paraphrase the announcer on Dragnet:   The story you're reading is true.  The names have been changed to protect the innocent -- and Your Humble Narrator!