Canyoneering 4: Sh*tfaced & Painless

If you couldn’t tell by the calendar, you can definitely tell by the weather:  The seasons have turned and winter has arrived here at the Grand Canyon.  The past few days have been overcast, cold and windy; today is no exception.  The forecast has been calling for a 50% chance of rain/snow, although no precipitation has fallen thus far.  Perhaps it’s because of the elevation here, but the winds seem especially sharp and piercing, and it seems to hit from all sides.  Then again, maybe I’ve been too spoiled by the comparatively milder climate of Las Vegas, where I’ve lived for more years than I care to relate.

Anyway, that’s the weather update.  Since I live in a world-famous national park, I thought I’d take a moment to let you know all the great things we employees do to entertain ourselves here.  Let’s see … many people watch DVDs, drink, hike around the GC, drink, go for long walks, take the area tours, watch TV, eat, drink, surf incessantly online, drink, engage in photography, ogle tourists (females in my case), attempt to annoy the local four-footed wildlife, and did I mention drinking?

Yes, boozing, partying, and getting completely shitfaced tend to be popular pastimes here at the GC.  And that’s because, believe it or not, there’s really not a whole helluva lot to do here.  Once the novelty of sightseeing and hiking wears off, we employees – or at least Your Humble Narrator – are faced with the reality of living in what is essentially a small, remote village that offers very little in the way of diversion, entertainment, or flat out fun.  Hence drinking and partying are there to fill the need.  Indeed, it’s no mystery that AA has its own chapter here, and it is (reportedly) well-attended.

 

(Given the lack of activities here, I sometimes wonder why the GC doesn’t experience a baby boom of sorts; making babies is one form of diversion that never seems to go out of style.  Maybe the government puts contraceptives into the water here.)

Road Trippin’ to Flag

At any rate, YHN is neither a drinker nor smoker (of any substance), so that puts him especially at a loss.  It also leaves me with that above-mentioned form of diversion as a means of entertainment; now if I could only find a willing partner.  The sad truth is that civilization lies approximately 80 miles to the south of GC in the bustling metropolis of Flagstaff, AZ.  I say this sarcastically, of course.  While it’s a nice enough college town, Flag is fairly small in size and provincial in attitude.  Normally I wouldn’t give Flag a second thought.  But compared to the dearth of activities and products available in GC, this small town might as well be NYC or LA

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If you don’t have a car (like me) you can take a shuttle from GC to Flag at the rate of $25 – each way, and that includes an employee discount.  The cheaper alternative is to take advantage of twice-a-month shopping trips sponsored by the GC Rec Center: $15 round trip.  I’ve done this a few times, but there are disadvantages.  You must abide by their schedule and itinerary; it usually involves stops at Walmart, the Flagstaff Mall, and assorted grocery stores. 

Sometimes your roadmates are less than desirable types who like to talk (or fart) nonstop. Sometimes you might get squished while sitting between two weight-challenged behemoths who refuse to shift position.  On the plus side, I’ve managed to get haircuts and eye exams during these trips.  As you might expect the attractive price makes these trips very popular.  Since the van can only accommodate 10 people, the trips fill up fast.  And the trips might not be scheduled on a day you can take off.  Nonetheless, this is the most cost-effective way for GC residents to do their shopping in the big city.

Another way is to simply travel to Flag with friends who have wheels.  I’ve also done this on occasion.  The driver will usually request $10-15 from each passenger for gas money.  My experience has been the following:  I’m crammed into a small car with 4-6 people making the trip.  Most of the people are chain smokers (another popular activity in the GC) and I have to hold my breath most of the trip.  My fellow passengers are often, for whatever reason, of the nerd-geek variety.  That means a lot of sci-fi/Star Trek/Star Wars, etc. references.  It also means a lot of computerese techno-babble that sounds like a foreign language after a time

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Then there seems to be the requisite wigger of the bunch; that is, a suburban white kid who has adopted a lot of urban hip-hop slang into his vocabulary.  Thus, I hear stuff like, “Yo, when we gonna jet this bitch?”  Or, “What up with that, yo?  Why you gotta be a nigga about it?” or somesuch.  Sometimes it’s amusing, while other times it sounds hopelessly pathetic.  Of course, there is something of an age gap between YHN and his fellow passengers.  I might have a few years (okay, decades) on these guys, after all.  But really … What is up with that, yo?

It’s not unusual for employees to spend a few nights in Flag, just to get away from the confines of the GC.  It’s odd to use the word ‘confines’ when referring to a landmark that stretches some 277-miles but it’s amazing how claustrophobic the park can seem at times.  And it’s not just the park, but the living arrangements which enhance that discomfort. 

Unless you’re in a management position here, you will have a roommate.  Rest assured, you will get sick of seeing their face, hearing their voice, etc.  Their very presence seems to be a violation of your personal space.  In my case, I have a middle-aged roommate who seems to love his room – he never fucking leaves the place during his time off.  His leisure activities seem to be downloading crap off the internet, blasting music, snoring loud enough to rattle the windows, and of course drinking (mainly Fosters big cans, it seems).  That's when he's not moping about his glory days or bitching incessantly about his job.  Remind me to write a post on this guy:  He redefines the term “Buzzkill”.

For my part, I spend very little time in the room.  It’s too small, and like I say the roommate is always hanging around there (which is weird because he actually has a vehicle).  During my time off  I tend to walk a lot, go to the library, the Rec Center, or do whatever I can to avoid  that room.  I mainly need it for sleeping, shaving, showering and … well, that other essential bodily function..

Other options for employees escaping the park include Williams AZ, about 35 miles away, and Tusayan which is right outside the park.  It’s also where many park employees moonlight at local hotels and fast food joints.  Williams is interesting because employees can get a free train ride there from the GC; that catch is, you must stay overnight before returning.  Tusayan is interesting because ... well, nothing comes to mind at the moment.  Anyway, that's some of the stuff we do to amuse ourselves here at the big bad GC.

And if all else fails, there’s always drinking.  Or did I mention that?

HINJFCA 34: Backtracking Part 2

In all honesty, It was difficult to say goodbye to Salvation Army. While they are sometimes viewed as a bunch of naive do-gooders ringing bells at Xmas and doling out soup and secondhand clothing, I know that's a gross misrepresentation.  I found the staff there to be frank and straightforward when informing clients of what was expected of them.  Their judgment could be harsh but I never felt it to be unfair.  Many clients who found SA too strict or unreasonable simply didn't want to comply with the rules or responsibilities they agreed to in the first place.

In my time there they gave me a place to stay, fed me, clothed me, sent me to culinary class and gave me some sense of direction and purpose when it felt I was ready to check out of this life. And while it was never smooth sailing, I must credit SA with helping me to reinstall a sense of discipline and restore a sense of structure to my life. The fact that I wanted out of there is actually a mark of success in my opinion. The clients who got comfortable with that lifestyle were the ones who often got kicked out and returned to street life.

It reaffirmed for me the fact that you can't help someone who really doesn't want to be helped. SA offers so many people the chance to change their lives, yet so many people seem to resent the effort. And it's usually because those people don't want to follow rules or guidelines. They don't want to give up their booze, drugs, or other addictions; they don't want to change.

At any rate it gratified me to know that many people there appreciated my efforts and considered me a good worker. It actually made the goodbyes more difficult. There are several people at SA that I will always respect, and I do miss them. Oddly enough, I miss arriving in the SA kitchens at 4:45am and drinking the too-strong coffee, and shooting the s**t with some of the guys. I honestly never thought I'd feel that way.  What I wouldn't give to hear the 70-something F growl in his NY accent, "I'm takin' a f**kin' break and havin' a f**kin' cuppa f**kin' cawfee and there ain't f**kin' s**t you can do about it!" Always understated,that guy.

Anyway it was time to move on, and after a few days of homesickness (or should that be 'homeless-sickness?') I settled into my new routine at Grand Canyon National Park. As your humble narrator is getting lengthy again, I'll wrap up by saying this: I think homelessness is as much a state of consciousness as it is a physical condition. I can best explain it with a great quote (from whom I forget): “I've been broke but I've never been poor. Being broke is a temporary condition. Being poor is a state of mind.”

Make of that what you will.

Next time: New Faces! New Places! New Adventures! Same old Humble Narrator!

HINJFCA 33: Backtracking Part 1

Okay, so how many of you clever trousers out there sussed out that the 'journal' was actually your humble narrator indulging in some so-called creative writing? Oh, I see – all of you figured it out from the get-go. Well, you'll never again catch me trying to be clever. You lot are far too advanced for me, it seems.

Actually, I couldn't think of another way to bridge the month+ gap between blog entries. Suffice to say that I have moved on from Las Vegas and am now living in the Grand Canyon (not actually inside the Canyon itself ... well, you get the idea).

I did have a bus trip to Flagstaff, AZ where I met some girls from Taiwan (Formosa); they were quite friendly and I've seen one of them on occasion. The 80-mile (+/-) trip from Flagstaff to GC was relatively uneventful, although the higher elevations can promote popping ears, bleeding noses, and even intestinal discomfort. I know because I've experienced these symptoms and more since arriving here in mid-June.

Upon seeing the GC from the south rim trail, I did wonder about the terrain's seemingly abstract angles and valleys and the inherent design and purpose that must lurk underneath those jagged foundations. I did mark an analogy between the Canyon and my own existence. My life has often seemed more the result of happenstance and the vagaries of chance more than the result of a definite plan. But deep down I still believe there is a design within the apparent abstraction; I just can't decipher it yet.

Ah, my self-pity detector is beeping, so I'd better take a different direction here. You may wonder wht happened when I left the Salvation Army in Sin City. After all, I stayed with SA for app. 7 months. During that time I went from sudden homelessness and embarked on a journey of sorts through parts unknown (unknown to me, that is).

I met people I likely never would have met before, given my circumstnces: Ex-cons of both genders, habitual offenders, thieves, cheats, weirdoes, wackos, wack-jobs and wack-everything in between. I met people who had been in and out of prison/jail for more that half their lives. One guy told me that I was the first person he'd ever met who had never experienced any form of incarceration. Indeed, when your humble narrator said he'd never been to jail, his fellow clients seemed to pity him.

Yes, some of those fellow clients seemed to prefer incarceration to a 'normal' life. I've heard that some of them have returned to lockup. Another tried to committ suicide and was locked up in a mental facility. I hope that many of the others are doing better but I haven't heard from many of them since I left SA.

... To be continued (always wanted to write that!) ...