Friday, July 22, 2011

Our Long National Nightmare Is Over: NFL Lockout Ending?

So I see the NFL lockout is apparently coming to an end.  I'm ambivalent about this.  On the one hand I'm glad to see pro football will play out its full season (minus the Hall of Fame Game, but that's mostly a ceremonial event anyway).  On the other hand I have a morbid fascination with seeing the NFL season called off.  I'm curious to see how the football junkies would react when their sports fix is yanked away.  My guess is that people would adjust, life would go on, and dogs wouldn't necessarily shack up with cats. 

Then again if the NFL was out of the picture for a year, Americans might start equating the term 'football' with soccer.  And when the NFL returned they'd have to rename their league the NPSL -- the National Prolate Spheroid League.  Because, as is common knowledge, the technical term for the shape of the American football is a 'prolate spheroid'.  I know this for two reasons:  One, because I just Googled it; and two, because everything you read on the Internet is true.

Anyway, with the lockout ending, at least we won't have to hear the breathless second by second updates on the situation being broadcast on every sports talk radio station out there.  They almost have me believing all this stuff actually means something to anyone other than sports bettors. Don't take me for a cynic; I love football.  Heck, the NFL and college football are examples of why the sport is the greatest game ever played by giant dudes tossing inflated pig bladders to each  other

I still think the virtual players in Madden 2012 should go on strike. 

Long live the NPSL!

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