Canyoneering 7: Trays Of Our Lives

If you've ever wondered why I seem to take a long time between blog posts, it's this:  I have no home Internet connection.  To update this blog I have to use the wi-fi here at the Grand Canyon Recreation Center (motto: Get Rec'd) where I've become known as one of the die-hards.  That is, I make the app. 2 mile trek from Trailer Village where I live to the Rec Center whenever I have the time.  As I often work in the afternoons, I usually wake around 5 am and am out the door by 7-ish.  Part of the reason I wake so early is from habit; why, I don't know.  It likely has something to do with my insomnia, which I've dealt with all my life.

The other reason Your Humble Narrator likes to get up early is because he cannot abide the tiny room he shares with a roommate.  Really, it's like a coffin in the woods.  Add to this my roommate -- R, a middle-aged overweight guy from Arkansas -- never seems to leave the room.  He spends most of his time off hanging around downloading and watching videos.  Often he's up until 3-4 am watching videos with a glassy-eyed stare, occasionally making a chuckling noise that sound like Beavis and/or Butthead laughing.  When he's not doing this, he manages to snore loud enough to peel the paint off the walls.  (I've found some great earplugs, Hearos, that really manage to block a lot of the noise.)  Overall, he's okay but can be annoying at times.  Like any roommate, I suppose.

At any rate, that's much of the reason why I don't like to spend much time in that room.  I use it many for the 'S'-entials:  Shaving, Showering, Sleeping and .... Odd, I can't seem to remember the other S-word.  While I'd love my own place, the only people who have private housing in the GC are managers or people who have accrued a lot of seniority.  And many of them still live in dorms with efficiency apartments.

Random Notes:

I mentioned my gig as a Banquet Steward and how it can be a lucrative position.  True, but the BS crew falls victim to the GC's slow season as well.  In order to accrue extra hours we are given various jobs in the El Tovar Hotel & Restaurant.  Over the past week for example, I've worked as a dinner reservation operator, a host (basically showing customers to their seats), and as a busser.  Bussing isn't bad except you're expected to carry dirty dishes away on a tray (or 'oval').  It's amazing to watch the bussers and servers glide and flit around hoisting trays full of heavy plates and delicate glassware like they were lifting feathers.

And how did YHN fare as a busser?  Fine -- except I couldn't bring myself to carry the trays.  Indeed, every time I thought about carrying a full tray, visions of the Hindenberg exploding flashed through my mind ("Oh the humanity!").  Whenever I was asked by the lead busser, "Wouldn't you like to try carrying a tray?" YHN would politely reply, No, he fucking would not.  (I actually left out the expletive.)  But I did learn how to change table linens, fold napkins, and arrange flatware.  I can only marvel at the sheer amount of minutia involved with setting a table, and all the teeny tiny details one must observe in the preparation of fine dining.

For a person of my temperament and disposition, however, all the formality can become exasperating and boring.  In the back of my mind I'm always asking, Why the hell is all this shit necessary?  It seems so ridiculous ... Cups set at a 45-degree angle, salt facing in the direction of the restaurant entrance, knife blades facing to the right, whatever.  Like they say, it's all in the details -- including ways to try my goddamn patience.  At least it's given me something to write about.

And in case I can't post before then, Happy New Year!

Canyoneering 6: What a BS Job

In our last episode, I was relating how I've shifted from the position of cafeteria worker to the position of Banquet Steward here at the Grand Canyon ...

So far it’s interesting (albeit physical) work and it’s giving me the chance to meet a lot of the higher management here at the GC.  Duties also include serving, bussing tables, and some bartending (not until I go through TIPS training, though).  FYI, the Banquet Steward is also recognized as one of the best paying (non-management) positions in the GC.  Consequently, it’s also one of the most highly sought after positions; due to the higher pay, the stewards tend to keep the gig for a long time.  One manager told me it was the first time a position had opened up in nearly 5 years. 

There were many applicants for the position.  As I recall, my interview lasted over an hour (longest job interview in my professional life).  I’m sure many of those applicants had far more relevant job experience than I did.  Indeed, there’s a lot of stuff I told them I had no experience with:  Bartending, cash handling, serving.  My only previous experience in the food service industry had been with SA and that was only six months, give or take.  I admit I was surprised to get the interview; I was shocked to get the job.

A Winter Wonderland or a Winter Wasteland?

Not to look a gift horse in the mouth but I sometimes wonder ‘why me’?  I’d like to think it had something to do with my aforementioned focus on the job at hand – my work ethic, I suppose.  I’d like to think it had something to do with being recognized as a reliable, dependable worker who eschews the petty bullshit found at any job.  Hell, I’d like to think it has something to do with the universe rewarding me for surviving all the turmoil that engulfed me in Oct 2011.  I’d like to think this is all part of me working through a process.

The point is, I’ve tried to take a bad situation and turn it to my advantage.  I’d like to think this new job is proof of that.  I’m still pursuing my voiceover/acting/writing careers; I could never abandon that.  But it can’t hurt to gain experience in things unrelated to those fields.  It’s nice to know you can succeed in certain endeavors you might never have attempted, if not for something that seemed to be (at the time) an incredibly negative event.  Almost makes you believe there's a grand design behind my becoming a Banquet Steward. 

Maybe I was always destined for BS.

Canyoneering 5: YHN, GCBS

So it's less than a week from Xmas and the Grand Canyon is looking like a winter wonderland.  Just when I thought the snow would bypass us (out of consideration of Your Humble Narrator's disdain for the white stuff) -- BLAM -- we get hit with 10+ inches of the crap.  And of course as temps begin to warm up enough to melt the snow we get another 3" last night.  Snow is one of the primary reasons I moved to Las Vegas.  I lived there for some 12 years without seeing a snowflake (just other flakes of the human variety); another dozen snow-free years would be more than welcome.

Not that YHN is a stranger to snow.  After all, I grew up in the midwest so I'm somewhat used to inclement weather.  But it has been difficult to readjust to maneuvering across slippery roads and treacherous black ice.  I've slipped and fallen several times recently trying to navigate slick surfaces.  I finally gave in and spent the $$ on some 'STABILicers' kind of like snow chains for your shoes.  Happily, I've not slipped or slid since; hell, I can traverse these Arctic conditions like a giant penguin!

It's very pretty ... Pretty damn annoying!

Perhaps it's due to the time of the season, but I find myself thinking about time and how it seems to constantly slip away.  Curious, because approximately a year ago at the Salvation Army time seemed to stand still.  It felt as if I'd never get out of there, like I could never break free of my circumstance.  Now, at the Grand Canyon, time has seemingly resumed its linear flow.  Yet even here, time can play tricks on you. Sometimes it feels as if there is no such thing as 'time' per se; at least not as something that can be measured or categorized.

One could argue that this very location is somehow timeless in and of itself.  Or perhaps it’s because we’re rather cut off from civilization; consequently, we often aren’t up to date with all the latest news from the outside.  Indeed, one temporal phenomenon that affects almost every employee in the GC is this:  We often have a difficult time remembering what day it is.  One day is essentially like the other within the park.  There are times when terms like “Monday,”  “Saturday,” etc. completely lose their meanings.  There are simply days and nights that seem to steadily dissolve from one to the other without regard for how we humans care to measure time.

What a roundabout way of saying it’s been a long time since my last post.  Here we are, very close to Xmas and 2013 and Your Humble Narrator has been in the GC for approximately six months.  Odd, because when I originally landed here from Vegas I intended to leave the GC sometime between Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Well, it looks like I’ll miss that deadline.  Indeed, I might be here in the GC for the time being.  So what happened?

I guess I’m experiencing what is a fairly common occurrence for many employees:  The GC grew on me.  Many people who have spent 5-10+ years in the park tell a similar tale:  They come here planning on staying for months and end up staying for years.  They find careers here; they marry and raise families here; they find a home here.  While it’s too early to tell if I actually want a career (or a family) in the GC, I think I have found a home, however temporary.

Remember, when I arrived here from Salvation Army, I was essentially homeless with maybe $75 to my name.  I had lost almost everything I possessed, found myself in situations I could never have anticipated; it was a classic ‘it-could-never-happen-to-me’ scenario – except that it did happen.  At best I could say that when I had a mid-life crisis, I had a mid-life crisis.  At any rate, I found myself hurtling through changes in lifestyle, attitude, and circumstance that left me in a state of bemused numbness.  And that’s pretty much how I felt when I arrived at the GC.

While I initially planned to save up just enough cash to return to Vegas and restart my former life there, something interesting happened.  I began to enjoy living in the GC, something I could never have anticipated upon arrival here.  I think it began with appreciating the immensity of the landscapes and vistas.  Then  there’s the small community here with people who are very friendly, helpful and outgoing.  And while I never imagined working as a ‘cafeteria worker’, I actually did begin to take satisfaction from performing the job, regardless of how menial and tedious it could be at times.

That’s something I find inexplicable; in the past I would have laughed at the notion of me working in such a job.  But while I was at SA I decided to use those experiences – as unfortunate as they may have been – as an opportunity to learn from my circumstances.  That meant learning the jobs, learning from bosses and coworkers and basically focusing on the job at hand (no pun intended).  I tried to learn as many details as possible about whatever gig I was given.  In a sense I was trying to focus on anything other than my shitty circumstances.

So I think that philosophy carried over here to the gig at the GC.  Sometimes I actually looked forward to work.  I was content to be a line-server, and slop food onto plates.  Along the way I learned as much of the operation as possible – not just about  the Canyon Café where I worked, but about the entire Food & Beverage Department run by Xanterra Corp. here at the GC.  I found I liked talking with the guests and learning about where they came from.  I displayed a good attitude, never caused trouble and have never been late or called in sick.

Why do I tell you this?  Because I feel like patting myself on the back?  No, actually.  It’s because I believe these are reasons why I got the nod for a new gig here at the GC.  YHN has transitioned from working in the café to the position of ‘Banquet Steward’.  I’m now part of a crew that sets up a lot of special events here.  That includes anything from Xmas and holiday parties to political town halls and weddings.  It's also recognized as one of the more coveted (non-managerial) positions in the park.  I'll explain more about that in the next post.

Canyoneering 4: Sh*tfaced & Painless

If you couldn’t tell by the calendar, you can definitely tell by the weather:  The seasons have turned and winter has arrived here at the Grand Canyon.  The past few days have been overcast, cold and windy; today is no exception.  The forecast has been calling for a 50% chance of rain/snow, although no precipitation has fallen thus far.  Perhaps it’s because of the elevation here, but the winds seem especially sharp and piercing, and it seems to hit from all sides.  Then again, maybe I’ve been too spoiled by the comparatively milder climate of Las Vegas, where I’ve lived for more years than I care to relate.

Anyway, that’s the weather update.  Since I live in a world-famous national park, I thought I’d take a moment to let you know all the great things we employees do to entertain ourselves here.  Let’s see … many people watch DVDs, drink, hike around the GC, drink, go for long walks, take the area tours, watch TV, eat, drink, surf incessantly online, drink, engage in photography, ogle tourists (females in my case), attempt to annoy the local four-footed wildlife, and did I mention drinking?

Yes, boozing, partying, and getting completely shitfaced tend to be popular pastimes here at the GC.  And that’s because, believe it or not, there’s really not a whole helluva lot to do here.  Once the novelty of sightseeing and hiking wears off, we employees – or at least Your Humble Narrator – are faced with the reality of living in what is essentially a small, remote village that offers very little in the way of diversion, entertainment, or flat out fun.  Hence drinking and partying are there to fill the need.  Indeed, it’s no mystery that AA has its own chapter here, and it is (reportedly) well-attended.

 

(Given the lack of activities here, I sometimes wonder why the GC doesn’t experience a baby boom of sorts; making babies is one form of diversion that never seems to go out of style.  Maybe the government puts contraceptives into the water here.)

Road Trippin’ to Flag

At any rate, YHN is neither a drinker nor smoker (of any substance), so that puts him especially at a loss.  It also leaves me with that above-mentioned form of diversion as a means of entertainment; now if I could only find a willing partner.  The sad truth is that civilization lies approximately 80 miles to the south of GC in the bustling metropolis of Flagstaff, AZ.  I say this sarcastically, of course.  While it’s a nice enough college town, Flag is fairly small in size and provincial in attitude.  Normally I wouldn’t give Flag a second thought.  But compared to the dearth of activities and products available in GC, this small town might as well be NYC or LA

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If you don’t have a car (like me) you can take a shuttle from GC to Flag at the rate of $25 – each way, and that includes an employee discount.  The cheaper alternative is to take advantage of twice-a-month shopping trips sponsored by the GC Rec Center: $15 round trip.  I’ve done this a few times, but there are disadvantages.  You must abide by their schedule and itinerary; it usually involves stops at Walmart, the Flagstaff Mall, and assorted grocery stores. 

Sometimes your roadmates are less than desirable types who like to talk (or fart) nonstop. Sometimes you might get squished while sitting between two weight-challenged behemoths who refuse to shift position.  On the plus side, I’ve managed to get haircuts and eye exams during these trips.  As you might expect the attractive price makes these trips very popular.  Since the van can only accommodate 10 people, the trips fill up fast.  And the trips might not be scheduled on a day you can take off.  Nonetheless, this is the most cost-effective way for GC residents to do their shopping in the big city.

Another way is to simply travel to Flag with friends who have wheels.  I’ve also done this on occasion.  The driver will usually request $10-15 from each passenger for gas money.  My experience has been the following:  I’m crammed into a small car with 4-6 people making the trip.  Most of the people are chain smokers (another popular activity in the GC) and I have to hold my breath most of the trip.  My fellow passengers are often, for whatever reason, of the nerd-geek variety.  That means a lot of sci-fi/Star Trek/Star Wars, etc. references.  It also means a lot of computerese techno-babble that sounds like a foreign language after a time

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Then there seems to be the requisite wigger of the bunch; that is, a suburban white kid who has adopted a lot of urban hip-hop slang into his vocabulary.  Thus, I hear stuff like, “Yo, when we gonna jet this bitch?”  Or, “What up with that, yo?  Why you gotta be a nigga about it?” or somesuch.  Sometimes it’s amusing, while other times it sounds hopelessly pathetic.  Of course, there is something of an age gap between YHN and his fellow passengers.  I might have a few years (okay, decades) on these guys, after all.  But really … What is up with that, yo?

It’s not unusual for employees to spend a few nights in Flag, just to get away from the confines of the GC.  It’s odd to use the word ‘confines’ when referring to a landmark that stretches some 277-miles but it’s amazing how claustrophobic the park can seem at times.  And it’s not just the park, but the living arrangements which enhance that discomfort. 

Unless you’re in a management position here, you will have a roommate.  Rest assured, you will get sick of seeing their face, hearing their voice, etc.  Their very presence seems to be a violation of your personal space.  In my case, I have a middle-aged roommate who seems to love his room – he never fucking leaves the place during his time off.  His leisure activities seem to be downloading crap off the internet, blasting music, snoring loud enough to rattle the windows, and of course drinking (mainly Fosters big cans, it seems).  That's when he's not moping about his glory days or bitching incessantly about his job.  Remind me to write a post on this guy:  He redefines the term “Buzzkill”.

For my part, I spend very little time in the room.  It’s too small, and like I say the roommate is always hanging around there (which is weird because he actually has a vehicle).  During my time off  I tend to walk a lot, go to the library, the Rec Center, or do whatever I can to avoid  that room.  I mainly need it for sleeping, shaving, showering and … well, that other essential bodily function..

Other options for employees escaping the park include Williams AZ, about 35 miles away, and Tusayan which is right outside the park.  It’s also where many park employees moonlight at local hotels and fast food joints.  Williams is interesting because employees can get a free train ride there from the GC; that catch is, you must stay overnight before returning.  Tusayan is interesting because ... well, nothing comes to mind at the moment.  Anyway, that's some of the stuff we do to amuse ourselves here at the big bad GC.

And if all else fails, there’s always drinking.  Or did I mention that?