As they say, one door opens when another shuts. So Door #1 has shut on the first phase of the Salvation Army culinary course. Tonight I (and 14 other students) enter Door #2, aka garde manger. From what I've heard this final (thank God) phase is supposed to be less cooking intensive and demanding that the first part of the course. I like it already. Of course, I'll give you my thoughts and ruminations on the whole shebang later.
In case you're interested, these culinary classes are held at the College of Southern Nevada (CSN) located in North Las Vegas. (All of which seems a bit geographically challenged when you think of it.) It's a smallish campus but I find it easy to get around. The atmosphere is friendly; it's the kind of campus where everyone seems to know your name, ala "Cheers". The faculty is helpful and the students are usually nice enough to help out middle-aged fellows such as your humble narrator, who don't always have the greatest sense of direction.
It's been quite a while since I was on a college campus as a student. For some reason, I don't feel completely out of place regarding the age gap between myself and the young ones. Maybe it's because the generation gap has narrowed since the 70s-80s )I'm sure there are many scholarly dissertations on this social phenomena). Or maybe it's because I'm too preoccupied by my current situation re homelessness to really give a damn. Whatever. I can you that the female student body is much more appealing at CSN than at SA. (And fairly open-minded as well. When I told one young coed about my life situation she didn't immediately sneer and flee.)
Considering that many of these girls are young enough to be my daughters -- or granddaughters, yeesh! -- sometimes I feel a bit guilty about checking out their supple, nubile bodies and their firm round ... eyes. I never really imagined myself as a dirty old man leering at young women, but I expect it was inevitable. In a way it's something of a natural progression for me. After all, I started off as a dirty young man and have been sliding down the evolutionary scale ever since. In all honesty, CSN is turning into a great place for research since I can access their library and computer rooms. (All provided by a student ID at no cost to yours truly. See, sometimes it pays to be poor!)
I thought I'd share a few odds and ends about me, my stay at SA and some of my culinary compatriots -- not necessarily in that order. As you may recall the class is composed of 15 students divided into five 3-man teams. My experience with Rain Man and Pitbull was hellish enough that I informed RM I wanted to switch teams. He, of course, replied that he had been thinking along the same lines. (This was somewhat akin to breaking up with a girl; you always want to be the first one announcing the break-up)
RM said he was cool with that. In fact he said I wanted to split from PB except no one wanted to work with the guy. (I've described PB before. For newcomers, he's short and built like a fireplug with a moody, short-tempered disposition and his opinion of black people veers slightly to the right of Hitler.) As it turns out many students want to switch teams. We're scheduled to have a meeting with the caseworkers in which it's expected that names be drawn out of a hat. I'm hoping that PB's two teammates are black.
The Enigma That Is Rain Man
He's a big guy standing app. 6'3 and built like a linebacker (albeit with a paunch). RM is a mathematical wizard, supposedly pegged as a child prodigy -- I actually can believe it. I call him Rain Man because he is so adept at spinning numbers in his head. It may be why he's such an accomplished cook as well. As I've found out to my everlasting misery, cooking incurs a lot of mathematical formula. (By now, you certainly know how I feel about math so I won't belabor the point.) At any rate you can tell the guy has some education (from his vocabulary) and some smarts. In fact you'd have to say he has a lot of potential for success, having managed restaurants like the Olive Garden and several other establishments.
So I ask you: Does this sound like a guy who just came off a 7-year bid in prison for armed robbery and is now on parole? Does this fit the profile of a guy who has been banned from entering two states of the Union? Does this fit the image of a man who has spent most of his adult life behind bars? Guess what? In this case all of the above does apply. RM, as they say, has been into some heavy s**t in his lifetime. Despite his facility with numbers and his cooking acumen, he's considered a hard core felon (some of his mug shots are online. Apparently he has no problem about this as he directed me to the websites.)
While we share a mutual respect for each other (probably because we're among the handful of SA clients who can speak in words of 2+ syllables), the guy does scare me. First, there's his intimidating height and size. Then there's his manner; usually quiet but he has a propensity for telling dirty jokes and using a lot of profanity (this is an infraction that can incur a write-up if overheard by the wrong set of ears.) I think his demeanor can be too quiet, almost dispassionate at times. Like a calculator, he can come off as cold and efficient.
Sometimes I feel like I'm talking to a machine that's making an effort to seem human. he makes the right gestures and responses, but something isn't quite ... right. It's as though he's composed of wires and circuits more than flesh and blood. But I've seen evidence of very human anger flash across his face, and something tells me when he flies into a rage it doesn't end until somebody is crippled or worse. He doesn't seem like the type to back down from a fight.
I've often found it interesting that intelligence doesn't preclude the propensity for making stupid decisions. After all, many criminals -- including serial killers -- are considered above average in intellect. You would think RM could have easily walked the straight and narrow and found a legit career instead of turning to crime; started a family instead of enduring two busted marriages (he's attempting to track down the second wife); would have followed the example set forth by his family, who are apparently successful and well-to-do (and law-abiding). Obviously, RM was motivated by other, darker forces.
One last reason why I stay friendly with RM but still keep a respectable distance: He was talking about some of his prison experiences when he stopped and looked at me. After a few moments of uncomfortable silence, he said, "You know something? You wouldn't've lasted five minutes in the prison I was at." Like I would want to?
From his very detailed approach to things you could call him a control freak, trying to anticipate every possible contingency. When things go wrong, he doesn't take criticism very well and becomes stone silent. His face is not a pretty sight. Still, he is the undeniable star of the culinary class. It'll be interesting to see how he fares when it's time to seek work.
Time is winding down, so let me just say that in my time at SA I've totally lost track of the TV shows I once followed. Chuck and Nikita were two of my favorites. And I'd often watch the Oscars. Do you I had no idea the Academy Awards were shown last night? Didn't even know it until this morning. And you know something? I don't feel like I missed much,
For now, that's a wrap!
Quote of the Day:
"I bet if I brought a cow into (this classroom) and slit its throat, there'd be a lot of vegetarians tomorrow." -- Chef X
No comments:
Post a Comment