I won't keep you in suspense. For my culinary cooking final grade I scored an 86 overall, or a 'B'. I was surprised to say the least; I was expecting something in the C or D range. Seeing that B actually made me feel a trifle guilty and relieved at the same time. My relief is obvious; I'm now assured of gaining the college credit for which I primarily took the course. But my guilt? That might need a bit of explanation.
See, I skated by with a minimum of effort. Really, I don't enjoy the process of cooking, so it's kind of a hassle every time I enter the kitchen lab. To be honest I simply didn't hand in or complete certain assignments. And to be honest, I didn't do all that great on the written final (if the Chef hadn't allowed us 20 minutes of open book reference, I would have been totally cooked). But the reason I feel guilty is because had I put forth some more effort, I might have gotten a B+, maybe even an A/A-. The difference between an A and B can be worth thousands of dollars if/when you apply for a grant.
This is the way I've always been, though, at least when it comes to school. You know the old cliche about a student 'not applying himself'? That's me. I've always done just enough to get passing grades, at least when it came to subjects I didn't like. And as you know by now I little affinity or aptitude for the culinary arts.
So it did come as good news when my caseworker addressed my concerns on this matter: Namely, how am I expected to get a job in a restaurant when I really suck at cooking? That's one of the catches about this Salvation Army culinary program. Upon graduation you're expected to be a cook of some sort (which makes sense since other peoples money has been invested in you to do just that). However, I was told -- off the record, of course -- that the main requirement can be tweaked to read thusly: The graduating student must obtain a job in a food and beverage establishment. I like that interpretation a tad better, don't you?
Other student in my class did well enough, considering their skill level and aptitude (or lack thereof). My roommate (who was convinced he would fail and that life as he knew it was over) scored a C. He was visibly relieved and remarked, "Those f**king assholes, I think I deserved a C+!" Can't satisfy some folks, I guess. Other students ranged from the B+ to C range. I don't think anyone got lower than a C-. If so, they didn't admit it (I don't blame them).
Only two students got A's: My teammate Rain Man and a girl I'll refer to as Ms Moodswing (MM) due to the emotional highs and lows incurred by her numerous medications. She's the attractive girl who once told us all about her druggie days that ranged all over Sin City. I was surprised to learn my other teammate, Pitbull, scored a B+; I expected him and RM to come in 1-2 in grading. I think PB might have had some points for professionalism knocked off because he got into loud arguments with a couple of other classmates. Otherwise he seems like one of the more adept student in the class.
(Sidebar about PB: Some of his behavior is likely due to strong medication for depression and anxiety among other ailments. He takes 1000mg of some potent pill; I don't know what it does but he said, "Man, I've got so much s**t going on I need something to mellow me out." Sounds like a dosage fit for a depressed elephant. You may also recall that PB has a bit of a racist streak (his arguments were with black classmates). Here's something to consider: Recently I saw him drive to the SA campus with his mother in the shotgun seat and a guy riding in the back. I know his parents are divorced, so the guy in the back was mom's boyfriend (this was later corroborated for me by an independent source). When they got out of the car, he hugged his mother and stiffly shook hands with the boyfriend -- a black man. Connect the dots.)
This new phase of the culinary course is conducted by a short, heavyset Filipino guy we'll call Chef Y. He seems pleasant enough and explained to us that he has 10+ years experience as a professional chef before he became a teacher at CSN. Interestingly, he was a chemical engineer before turning to cooking, his true choice of career; this seems to be a fairly commonplace story among the cooks and chefs that I've met thus far.
The focus in Chef Y's class is primarily on preparation of cold dishes, which I actually find somewhat interesting. We're also working on things like sandwiches (the little artsy-fartsy kind that look like sculpture) and breakfast foods. For instance, your humble narrator made his first ever poached eggs the other night; I never even knew what they looked like before. Eggs have been a key point thus far, but I've never been able to eat them unless they're scrambled. I've never gone for whole yolks in my eggs because they look like great, yellow eyes staring back at me. Go figure.
We had a meeting for culinary students recently concerning our final exam. It's actually going to be a grand finale dinner of sorts that we prepare for a selected guest list. The dinner occurs on our final day as students (April 4). It'll be a long day, beginning at 5-9am in the SA kitchens, then 10-?pm at the CSN campus where the repast will be completed. After that, it's everyone for themself in terms of the ensuing job search. A caseworker kept noting that this is the last time "you'll ever work as a team."
That didn't exactly cause anyone to shed tears. In fact, this same caseworker told me (off the record, of course) that my class was the worst they'd seen in terms of cooperating with each other. It was also noted that some students like RM have already begun their job searches. RM in fact seems confident he's already got a gig lined up at a local restaurant and plans to move out the day following graduation.
Well, he has a lot of years in the culinary field. I expect my job search will take longer, but I am starting to scout around potential places for employment and have begun to fill out applications online. I was talking with a fellow student about our post-graduation plans, and what positions(s) we might be interested in. He told me he thought I would make a good manager. Not to brag, but a couple of other people have told me that as well. I obviously take it as a compliment. But when I mention that I have no experience in this field and am not particularly adept at cooking they often say something along these lines:
Any establishment you go to will likely train you from the ground up because they want you to learn their system. Even grads from noteworthy culinary institutions like Cordon Bleu don't start off as chefs. Most likely they'll start off washing dishes because the management wants to see who is dependable and who is willing to do the work. Only after they're convinced of your solid work ethic (or lack thereof) will they start training you for a certain position.
Another bit of philosophy I've been hearing time and again from those with management experience: The best managers aren't always the ones with the most technical know-how. The best managers are the ones who make their employees want to work for them. I've seen this play out even in the SA/CSN culinary course. My teammates RM and PB, as noted, are among the most proficient students in the program. But I've also come to realize that, on a personal level, they are not particularly well thought of as individuals.
I know this because I tried to switch teams with some other people in my class. While they all respected the skills of RM and PB, no one was willing to switch positions with me. Basically, it boiled down to the fact that no one wanted to work with RM or PB. Now view that in managerial terms -- do my teammates evince the quality of making people want to work for them? From what I've seen, RM is so convinced of his skills that be can hardly brook any disagreement, even to the point of contesting the chefs opinion when they point out a mistake he made. He does tend to be thin-skinned and impatient. PB likely comes off too abrasive for people to warm up to.
And then there's your humble narrator, who seems to get along with everyone. Am I really such a great guy? Not necessarily. I'm just to lazy to get agitated and argumentative with anyone; personally, I find such aggravation a waste of my valuable energy. And besides, I'm not looking to get punched out. Anyway, maybe I'll raise my sights and expectations a bit higher. Who knows, maybe I can 'charm' myself into a decent position (one that hopefully does not involve grabbing my ankles).
'You Made God Angry'
The other night I was talking with a fellow student in the SA client dining room when a strange-looking fellow ambled in. He appeared to be in his mid-late 60s, was dressed in tattered clothes was bald headed with a bushy gray beard, and at over 6 feet tall appeared to weigh about 135lbs. He looked like a homeless scarecrow. As he walked to the microwave to heat up a can of soup I was about to make a sarcastic comment to my classmate when his face lit up and he jumped out of his seat, ran to the strange guy and said, "Hi, Clay!"
Turns out my classmate knew this guy from earlier encounters on the street. As I discovered, Clay is something of a homeless celebrity, having been featured in local newspaper write-ups, and on local TV coverage of the homeless problem. Some of this media attention led to his getting an apartment and all kinds of donated food, clothes, and apparently lots of money. I don't know why he's at SA right now, but he said something about accepting these donations that stuck with me throughout the night. I'll pass it along to you.
Clay said that in his 15+ years on the streets, he once lived in a broken down van near a church in Bakersfield. The minister and his wife would occasionally bring him food and vital supplies. They passed on his story to a local business owner who arranged for Clay to get a job, and apartment, and the chance to start over. But Clay turned it down. He said he just didn't want to give up his freedom (on the streets). he later saw it was a selfish thing to do.
Later, the minister's wife stopped by the van and told him he'd have to leave. They thought he was ready to leave the streets, but apparently they were wrong. Clay had never seen the minister's wife so angry. When he asked why she was so harsh, she explained. "You made God angry. Someone tried to give you a blessing. When you refuse someone's blessing, God won't bless them." By refusing someone's blessing (gift, donati on, etc), you rob them of the chance to be blessed by God. I had honestly never thought of that.
Clay said that every since he has always graciously accepted any gift (help, assistane etc.) offered to him. In that way he is blessed and so is the person offering the gift.
Makes me wonder how many gifts/blessings I have turned down over my lifetime. How many times have I refused offers of help or assistance because of pride or a willingness to admit my weaknesses? And how many people were robbed of their own blessing due to my refusal? Guess you could say that when you count your blessings, you should count the blessings of others as well.
That's a wrap!
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